Just My Luck
Well, my father is turning into something that I completely despise. He's becoming someone that tries to force his beliefs onto someone, me, that doesn't believe the same things he does.
A little background. I went to parochial schools from 7th grade on through graduating high school. Lutheran schools. Before that, I was forced to go to sunday school, church, and the whole nine yards. In high school, we had a daily chapel service, and daily religion classes. After graduation, I had a "crisis of faith" of sorts. Mainly, I realized that I didn't have any.
Fast forward to now. My lack of faith has always bothered my father. Two or three times a week I get the "I wish you'd come back to church" lecture. Yesterday, my dad set up a meeting for me with the new pastor at his church. I'd never met him and, truthfully, I didn't really care to. However, just to get the old man off my case, I agreed to meet with the guy. Talk about a setup. He, the pastor, not only wanted me to come back to the church, but he wants to be my buddy as well. First off, I'm NOT coming back to church. If I do, it will be because of my own reasons, not because some jumped up little kid just out of the seminary talked me into it. Second, this poor kid could never handle being "my buddy". I'm sorry, but I break at least one of the ten commandments every day. Could he deal with that? Doubtful. Third, if you're trying to get me to come back, you don't try to embarass me the first time you're meeting me. The pastor and I were having dinner, and when the food arrived, I immediately tucked in since I was rather hungry. He waited until I was already eating, and told me, not asked, to join him in prayer. Umm, no. YOU can pray all you like. Do NOT try to force me into something. He was a nice enough kid, but that was the end of any chance he had of getting me back to the church. Not that I really had any intention anyway.
Now, my biggest bitch about all of this is, why can't people let other people have their own beliefs? Why do I have to conform into what my dad thinks I should? I'm not hurting anyone by not believing in a God. I don't even believe that there is some sort of "higher power" out there. I'm just not a spiritual person. My beliefs on a multitude of different subjects are really a hodgepodge of differences. I believe in the death penalty, but I don't believe in abortion. I also believe that it should be the womens' choice, not mine. The bible itself is full of condradictions. In one part it says "an eye for an eye" and in another, it says, "turn the other cheek".
Why can't people just let others believe what they want?
A little background. I went to parochial schools from 7th grade on through graduating high school. Lutheran schools. Before that, I was forced to go to sunday school, church, and the whole nine yards. In high school, we had a daily chapel service, and daily religion classes. After graduation, I had a "crisis of faith" of sorts. Mainly, I realized that I didn't have any.
Fast forward to now. My lack of faith has always bothered my father. Two or three times a week I get the "I wish you'd come back to church" lecture. Yesterday, my dad set up a meeting for me with the new pastor at his church. I'd never met him and, truthfully, I didn't really care to. However, just to get the old man off my case, I agreed to meet with the guy. Talk about a setup. He, the pastor, not only wanted me to come back to the church, but he wants to be my buddy as well. First off, I'm NOT coming back to church. If I do, it will be because of my own reasons, not because some jumped up little kid just out of the seminary talked me into it. Second, this poor kid could never handle being "my buddy". I'm sorry, but I break at least one of the ten commandments every day. Could he deal with that? Doubtful. Third, if you're trying to get me to come back, you don't try to embarass me the first time you're meeting me. The pastor and I were having dinner, and when the food arrived, I immediately tucked in since I was rather hungry. He waited until I was already eating, and told me, not asked, to join him in prayer. Umm, no. YOU can pray all you like. Do NOT try to force me into something. He was a nice enough kid, but that was the end of any chance he had of getting me back to the church. Not that I really had any intention anyway.
Now, my biggest bitch about all of this is, why can't people let other people have their own beliefs? Why do I have to conform into what my dad thinks I should? I'm not hurting anyone by not believing in a God. I don't even believe that there is some sort of "higher power" out there. I'm just not a spiritual person. My beliefs on a multitude of different subjects are really a hodgepodge of differences. I believe in the death penalty, but I don't believe in abortion. I also believe that it should be the womens' choice, not mine. The bible itself is full of condradictions. In one part it says "an eye for an eye" and in another, it says, "turn the other cheek".
Why can't people just let others believe what they want?
posted by Matt at 9:58 AM
3 Comments:
Hmm, I've had that nightmare before Matt...you did better than me. I would have just got up and left.
Keep in mind that the majority of wars and conflicts of all sizes throughout history come from People X trying to convince People Y that their belief is the right one.
And only one commandment a day? Slacker.
Everyone needs something to believe in, and I believe I'll have a beer with you tonight at pool ;-)
I would have left. Like I said though, he was a nice kid. I didn't want to make him feel like a complete loser. Maybe next time, if I'm so inclined.
Umm...the Crusades, anyone?
And I said AT LEAST one commandment.
You're on!
Baby, baby...you knew I'd have to comment on this one!
I too, was forced to attend parochial school for three years. I had no choice about First Communion, but refused Confirmation when I was 16. How could I possibly claim 'belief' in an organized religion that encourages intolerance, bigotry, predjudice and misogyny?
Believing in a higher power is one thing - claiming the "only path to Heaven" quite another. Personally, I see absolutely no link between 'morality' and religion. Humans are sick, twisted critters, capable of (actually, drawn to) either horrors or beauty. It's about personal choice in one's own life.
That horrible woman who is married to my Father has tried for all these years, to slam her religion down my craw. It used to annoy me, but now I don't even pay attention...why? Because in her bizarre way, that is the only way she feels comfortable trying to make some connection with me, even though I have made it perfectly clear all along that I do not believe in her God.
It isn't that she's actually attempting to force me to change, though it does feel that way at times. She simply does not have the capacity to learn from her mistakes, and acknowledge that her way of doing things is hers, and not necessarily good for anyone else. She cannot separate her own identity, likes and dislikes, from others.
Sad, yes. I think your Father is most likely feeling the advance of years, and is afraid. His personal fear is coming out as transferance onto you, in the form of "saving" you. You don't need saving - you were never lost. You can always do what I do, which is simply turn off one's brain whenever the religious babble comes up. Change the subject. Don't bother arguing - there is nothing more fruitless than attempting to change the mind of a follower.
You KNOW this.
Sorry you had to endure that passive-aggressive, feebly disguised attempt at conversion in the form of a dinner. That was weak...not of you, but of the 'kid.' Maybe someday he'll hone his Game - or maybe it works fine on the sheep.
Keep on keepin' on, Matt. I think you're just dandy as-is.
-Marcy
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