Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Emmanuel Augustus

The REAL Drunken Master! I love watching this guy fight. Judge for yourself. Keep an eye out for the white boy dancing along with Emmanuel in the crowd at about the 1:14 mark.

The video may take a bit of time to load.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Why I Don't Go To McDonald's Anymore

I came across these "Rules for McDonald's Customers" at a site called Food Facts. I just had to post this and respond to these "rules". My responses are in bold, and nothing has been edited because I wanted to preserve this person's intelligent posting.

I guess Joanna posted this at some McDonald's employee forum or something. I have read that it got passed around so much, that it was removed to stop further embarrassment. I'm guessing that these are NOT "official" McDonald's rules. Heh. Everything after the link is what SHE posted with MY comments included in bold. Have fun.

Story from Food Facts

Well first of all i guess i should introduce myself..My name is Joanna.. i work at Mcdonalds in Walker , Louisiana..
i've been working at mcdonalds for 2 years .. moving from place to place to different stores since hurricane katrina.

i brought a copy of the old "things not to do when visiting a mcdonalds" that i saw on here to work... and me and a few girls from work decided to add on during the shift.. and we came up with a lot more than we thought we would haha well if anyone is interested in reading them here they are.

1. If we have temporarily run out of an item on the menu, dont cry about it and make stupid commetns about how "this never happens at burger king!" either order something else or get the hell out!.

Nice attitude.

2. If something is out-of-order, get over it. The world is an imperfect place and mcdonalds is not immune to that.

True. You would do well yourself to remember that. You seem like the bitchy, whiny type who kicks soda machines if you get RC instead of Yoohoo.

3. If im on my break and eating in the lobby, dont ask me to fetch you BBQ sauce. just because im still in uniform does not mean im on the clock.


4. If you dont speak english well, bring an interpreter.. if not dont get upset when your order gets messed up.

Funny, I think the same thing about you whenever I get into the drive through lane. Why is it the person with the least amount of english is working the drive-thru anyway?

5. Dont confuse franchises! we dont biggie size, we dont have onion rings or nachos, and no..you may not "have it your way".

Sure I can. Ask your manager.

6. Dont roll your eyes at me if you just paid me eight dollars and forty three cents in change and im counting to verify..its my register and ill do it my way.

7. If you dont see tomatoes on the sandwich in the picture dont fucking ask me to take them off. The big mac has been around for ages.. it dosent have tomatoes..

Yeah, that takes SOOOOOO much time out of your day.

8. Dont start handing me change after ive already totaled your order, opened my register and started counting your change. Its not my fault you were too slow..just take what i give you!

Fair enough. As long as you keep this cheery customer friendly attitude.

9. Keep your sweaty, wrinkly bills to yourself..along with your sticky change.

It all spends the same way. Deal with it.

10. Dont fucking ask me if your sauce is in the bag if you never asked for it in the first place.

Do you talk to your manager with this mouth?

11. When i hand you your food.. and say "have a nice day!" you better respond with a smile, a "thanks, you too" or at least acknowledge my existence.. its called being polite people..

With this attitude of yours, you'll be lucky if I tell you to go fuck yourself.

12. Dont scream at me if i ask you to repeat your order.. we're talking about cheeseburgers , not missiles..so calm down!

Again, you should remember that yourself.

13. Dont come into the lobby two minutes before we close. chances are ive already cleaned ,and it will only cause me to do unspeakable things to your (already stale) food.

Two minutes before you close means you're still open, dipshit.

14. If you ask me for a moment to decide , dont ask me "are you ready" you needed more time - not me!

What would you like us to say? "Okay, I'm ready now, ya rude twat!"

15. If you have a "turbo disel" truck or an abnormally loud vehicle..how about turning off the engine genius? instead of trying to order over the noise .. I guarentee you'll find it much easier to understand each other.

But its more fun to yell at people like you!

16. Dont act offended when i check your bills to see if they are counterfeit. Everywhere else you bring it, they're going to do the same thing.

17. Please dont order a combo and then when i ask what kind of drink you tell me you dont want one. that defeats the whole purpose of ordering a fucking combo idiot!

18. When you pull to the window and hear/see me taking another order.. dont start talking to me about your order you rude whore.

I'm the rude one?!

19. After you pay, proceed to the next window if noone is in front of you.. Our buisness is over.

Is this before or after you supposedly say, "Have a nice day"?

20. Listen when i say "your recipt will be at the next window" dont sit there and stare at me after i close the window.

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over my "turbo disel".

21. Please learn what time breakfast ends and lunch starts. no .. i dont serve burritos all day. This is not jack-in-the-box.

Ain't my job to know that. Its yours.

22. If you're a senior citizen , dont think you can drive past the speaker and say you forget to order.. go back around like everyone else! you already get discounts ..what more special favors do you expect?!

Maybe they really did forget? Ever think of that?

23. For the LOVE OF GOD, if you know you should..then cover your damn self up! just cause its drive-thru dosent mean you shouldnt dress decent still.

The fuck kind of people live in Walker, Louisiana?! Goddamn!

24. If your card is declined.. dont ask why and assume its our fault. Put some damn money in the bank cheap ass.

Maybe it is your fault. I know that you obviously know everything with your 4th grade education, but maybe, just maybe, YOU fucked up.

25. Do realize that i can hear everything you say from the moment you pull up to the speaker till you drive off. so if you're talking shit , dont act so suprised when im not exactly friendly when you get to the window.

You do realize that you are working CUSTOMER SERVICE, right? Apparently not.

26. If im busy taking an order, dont put your money on the ledge and not expect me to do the same thing with your change.

27. Does this look like toys-r-us? who cares if your kid's got 10 of the same toy already.. thats telling me you dont feed them at home enough

How many times a week do you feed YOUR 14 kids McDonalds leftovers that you bring home? Oh wait, you probably had your kids taken away from you.

28. I fucking know what PLAIN means.. dont feel the need to include that means "meat and cheese only!"

Are you sure you know? I order things plain because pickles make me sick. You people fuck that up constantly.

29. You are about 10 feet from the window when you are at the speaker..dont ask me what you total is when i told you once AND it was on the screen.

Not all McNastys have that feature dipshit. And I still couldn't hear you over my "turbo disel".

30. Dont order a large ice cream cone.. they're all one size.

Again, ain't my job to know your menu.

31. Dont come through drive thru after your mid life crisis in your new sports car.. and try to impress me with your 1987 pick up lines.

Yeah, I'm sure you get alot of this with that winning personality. Maybe its the same guy that's driving through with his pecker hanging out?

32. Dont come through drive thru and then tell the manager at the 2nd window that i was rushing you. Drive thru is SUPPOSED to be fast.

That doesn't excuse you from fucking up my order.

33. Dont ask me if we do cash back, this isent a bank.

Seriously, how many times has this really happened? Once? Never?

34. Dont order free water and then sit in front my window and ask what the hold up is..you arent paying for it anyway..

So? You offer it, so give it up.

35. If you ordered a burger without pickles and they somehow ended up there anyway.. just pick them off because thats all im going to do when you bring it back to me to "fix it".

See my earlier comment about pickles. And if there are pickles on there, you'll be damn sure that you are going to completely remake my burger.

36. CLEAN. UP. YOUR. MESS . those trash cans are conveniently located next to the exits for a reason.

37. If you are the passenger of the car or in the backseat and you know that you dont talk very loud.. dont try to order for everyone in the car..

38. Please quiet your kids and other passengers from trying to order all at the sametime. I can only listen to one person at a time.

Other than the voices in your head, right?

39. If you let go of your money before i grab it, or you drop it while i am handing it to you.. dont look at me like you really expect me to get it for you..besides you're closer.

40. What's the point of "easy ice"?? our ABS machine dosent even have that setting. either order no ice or take what you get.

41. if you wouldnt talk like you have SHIT in your mouth, i could understand you the first time...

Funny, I kind of have the same problem with you. Besides, it couldn't be shitty speaker equipment, huh?

42. If you see me having a conversation for a few seconds with the car in front of you.. dont be an asshole and honk your horn.. you will get your food soon enough, chances are it isent even bagged yet.

I thought that you didn't want to talk to anyone? Oh wait, this was the naked guy in the '89 Mustang, right?

43. DONT TALK SHIT as you are leaving the first window. I still have another window i can catch you at..and trust me I WILL.!

And what? Yell at me? Make sure you knock your boss out of the way when you do.

Damn you minimum wage earners are uppity!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Say it ain't so Mel!

WARNING: Excessive use of exclamation points ahead. Read with care.

So Mel Gibson got busted for DUI and made an anti-Semetic rant to the police. Its been all over the news since, and I'm sure that you've seen it. However my question is, with everything else that is going on in the world, THIS is what the news is covering? The left wing media machine, the right wing media machine...Jesus folks. There is other shit going on out there! Cover that! Iran, Israel, Hezbollah, illegal immigration, North Korea, the HEAT for christ's sakes. How about the Detroit Tigers? Or how about Fidel Castro's illness? Pick a subject!

So Mel Gibson might be an anti-Semetic! So the fuck what! So Mel Gibson might be a drunk! So the fuck what! Do you really think we need to know that the "experts" think he didn't apologize in time? There are "experts" on making anti-Semetic comments?!!?! This is something that should have gotten a 1 minute blurb on the evening news, not 4 fucking days of full coverage!

Jesus christ people.