I Don't Get It

*Seinfeld mode on*

What's the deal with Goths?

*Seinfeld mode off*

"Oh, I'm sooooooo depressed. No one understands me...I wish I could die, but I don't have any ambition to actually DO it. I know! I'll dress in all black, dye my hair black, paint my fingernails black, wear black eyeliner and lipstick, then EVERYONE will know how depressed I am! Oh, did I mention that I'm a guy?"

These people remind me of the manic depressive robot in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Poor me, poor me. I get so tired of the "No one understands my pain" bullshit. Y'know what kiddies? No one understands my pain, either, but I don't go around advertising that I'm even IN pain. Whassamatter? The jocks picking on you? The popular girl you like won't give you the time of day? Ever think that its because you look and act like a fucking pansy? Oh, I'm going to go home and cry while I'm listening to my Nine Inch Nails cd's and plan on blowing up my school. Oh no, I've got another zit! It must be because everyone hates me...waaah waaah waaah!
Welcome to adolescence kiddo.

And while I'm on the subject of teenagers...

Sometimes I think that teenagers are smarter today the my generation was when we were at that age. However, most of the time, I can't believe how stupid these kids are. The sagging pants, the hat worn just off to the side, the weirdest fucking piercings, shit like that. I must be getting old, because I just don't get it. I was out shooting pool last night, and there was a group of kids that my team was playing against. My friend John summed it up the best when he said, "Looking at these kids reminds me that I have to take out the trash when I get home tonight." Granted, they were all around 21-24 years old, but they still had that same teenager mentality. Each team in my league has its own name. You get some clever ones and some REALLY stupid ones. Our team name is Worst Case Scenario. I think the team we played last night should have been called When White Met Trash, but I think Britney Spears is using that for the title of her next album.

I'm so goth, I shit bats.

Brain Fart

I was going to post something profound today, but I can't seem to remember what in the hell it was. It must be Monday. Oof. I guess I'll just post some bullshit about what's been going on in my life. Yay me.

Before I get started about me, one quick statement. I am sick and tired of hearing about Dick Cheney's hunting ACCIDENT. Isn't there anything else going on in the world???

Okay. I'm throwing a poker tournament at Casa Del Matt this weekend. I'm throwing a little twist into it by making it a pajama party. Men are expected to wear shorts or pajama bottoms, women are expected to wear lingerie. Yeah, this is going to go over well. Ha!

I decided to let my bulldog, Tank, sleep outside of his crate last night. And I woke up this morning remembering why I crate him at night. I woke up nose-to-ass with a gaseous bulldog butt. Talk about the best alarm in the world. Barf!!! Never again, Tank. You're back in the crate tonight.

I've got mice! That fucking sucks. Apparently, I had some trash in the garage that I missed throwing into the can, and completely forgot about it. The D-Con had better take care of those little critters. As far as I know, they are only in the garage. I haven't found any mouse shit in the house...thank god. Makes me wish I still had my cats.

Still single...big surprise. On the plus side, my pool game is better than ever.

My parents hit their 40th wedding anniversary this May. Not something you hear about very often anymore. Congratulations go out to both of them for showing the fortitude to deal with eachother for so long. Way to go Mom! I'd post something about what's planned for them, but I have a feeling that they read this on occasion. So, Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, nothing planned, no gifts, no dinner. Go away!!! :-p

My baby is in the shop for another month. I miss her. Its the Camaro you perverts. And, no, I didn't wreck it again.

My doctor is mad at me. Apparently my blood pressure and cholesterol is through the roof. So she yelled at me, and then upped my medication. I hope this helps. I don't particularly want to die anytime soon. And, my weight is up, too. I keep saying that I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

I've watched some okay movies over the last couple of weeks. National Treasure was okay, Lord of War was "Blow" with guns, Shaun of the Dead cracked me up, as did Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Madagascar sucked. And, in a blast from the past, I watched The Addams Family, and Addams Family Values. I never realized how funny those really were. Perfect casting in my opinion. Christina Ricci cracked me up with her little snide remarks in the sequal. Funny stuff. And, my favorite "teen comedy" EuroTrip. Funniest damn thing. Scotty doesn't know...

Oh well. Nothing else for the moment. If I remember what the hell I was going to post before, I'll probably do that later tonight.

Adios, Ciao, Arrivaderci, Laters, Bye bye, Auf Weidersein...and piss off. Sorry, too many British comedies.

A Leader Is Lost

I would be remiss if I didn't mention the passing of Coretta Scott King, widow of the great Martin Luther King Jr. She was, like her husband, a great civil rights leader that did many good things in her life. Unlike todays "supposed" civil rights leaders that are really hypocrites.

Rest in peace, Mrs. King. April 27th, 1927 - January 31st, 2006

Some random headlines

Just going to go with some headlines and make some of my "oh so witty" comments.

A postal worker went, well, postal at her old job and killed five and then herself yesterday. I heard on the news that the United States Postal Service is now going to investigate this phenomena. No shit. There's a reason that we call it GOING POSTAL. You think that they just noticed that this is a trend?

Lindsay Lohan cut her leg with a broken teacup. Why the fuck are they telling us this? NO ONE CARES!!! Then again, I wouldn't have much to bitch about if they didn't.

Along those lines, Ozzy's fat, disgusting, bratty, drunk, and drug addicted daughter decided that she needed her name out there again and started bashing Paris Hilton. Pot. Kettle. Black.

President Bush delivered his State of the Union address last night. I didn't watch it, and I don't know what was said. Personally, I'm so tired of listening to politicians. And I know that I'm not the only one. On one side, you have a bunch of whiny, spoiled brats. On the other side, you have a bunch of whiny, spoiled brats. Potato, potAHto.

In Alaska, a 17 year old girl is on trial for, allegedly, convincing two men in their mid 20's to murder her mother. Both men are witnesses against her. Apparently, both men were in love with the girl. Now, I know that most men would do just about anything to get a little, but I'm guessing that there REALLY must not be much to do in Alaska. Sheesh. Sad story all the way around.

That poor young woman is still being held hostage and used for propaganda purposes. Before I go off on TOO much a rant, I just want to say, there is no one to blame but the kidnappers themselves for this and anything they do to her later.

Ayman al-Zawahiri(I had to copy and paste that name because there is no way in hell I could spell that) sent out another video on Al-Qaed...I mean, Al-Jazeera TV to basically say, "Neener neener you American infidel pig dogs! You will never catch me! Muhahahahaha!" Of course, I probably offended a fair few people with that. Tough shit, quit being so fucking sensitive.

Iran...Iran...and Iran...Iran so far away... A play on a Flock of Seagulls song for you youngsters out there.

Cindy Sheehan was arrested last night at the President's speech. Nothing like making her into even more of a martyr. Truthfully, and I wish I could put my finger on why, the woman just bugs me. Michael Moore/Cindy Sheehan '06! A leftist's wet dream! I think I'd call Joe Pesci to put two in my head...with a .44 Magnum.

A headline stolen directly from Fark.com, Tall men get better educations...just ask Professor T.O. and Doctor Artest. And I'm adding Senator Rodman. Ha ha!

GO STEELERS!!!!

On a personal note, my pool team CRUSHED the competition this past weekend at our city qualifier tournament. We Kick Ass. 'Nuff said.